Thursday, February 03, 2005

California ... California!!!

I have a secret for you. Are you ready? Promise not to tell anyone? OK. I watch The O.C. There I said it. OK, I’m not being completely honest with you. I don’t just watch The O.C., I love The O.C. I spend large portions of my day thinking about it (and not just the lesbian scenes). There’s a basketball game tonight, with Lebron, Dwyane and Shaq. But you can be sure that until 9 p.m., I won’t see a second of it. Because I will be watching The O.C. So since it’s Thursday, and I just can’t do another day of “maybe this guy will be worth picking up” (I mean, Darius Songaila is a good pick up if Webber misses time, you know that), I’ll do something similar to what my FBB cohort did this morning and draw up some comparisons. But instead of using basketball, we’ll use male characters on The O.C. Why? Because it’s our blog, and we do what we want! Or rather, I do what I want. I'm sure my cohort is horrified.

Sandy Cohen = Tim Duncan
He’s the glue. Yeah, the show may be about the travails of the young ones, but who’s the first name to come up in the credits? That’s right, bushy eyebrows himself, Peter Gallagher aka Sandy Cohen. He goes about his business and he always does things the right way. Not flashy, but always, always gets the job done.

Seth Cohen = Dwyane Wade
The unassuming youngster who came out of nowhere to be a star. When the show started, it was Ryan Atwood, the bad boy from Chino, who was supposed to be the focal point. But a funny thing happened. People became enamored with Seth Cohen, and he ended up being just as big a part of the show. Sort of like Dwyane. LeBron and ’Melo were all the talk, but now we realize that while LeBron deserves everything, ’Melo is barely fit to hold Dwyane’s jock. Do basketball players even wear jocks? Still, they both have their downsides – Seth’s neurosis and obsessive tendencies and Dwyane’s nagging injuries.

Ryan Atwood = Yao Ming
When the show started, we weren’t sure if this would be the worst show of all-time or if it would be fantastic, and lots of this rested on the casting of Ryan. He’s the focal point of the show? What’s so great about him? Just like all the doubts with taking Yao #1 overall. Really? That awkward 7’6” Chinese guy? And yeah, it turns out that maybe Ryan, like Yao, isn’t that great after all. But you know what, he’s still pretty damn good, and there’s something endearing about him. He’s smarter and funnier than we give him credit for. Just like Yao. He’s not a dominant force, but wouldn’t you want him on your team, fantasy or real? Maybe neither him nor Ryan will ever be the dominant presence, but we like them fine.

Caleb Nichol = Michael Olowokandi
He sucks. He just flat out sucks. And you hate him for it. Once every blue moon he shows some promise, like last week when it looked like Caleb might actually reach out to his illegitimate daughter after ignoring her for so many years. And once every blue moon Kandi will throw up a 15/10/4 block game. But by now we know better than to expect any change. They are both douches, complete and total.

D.J. the Gardner = Voshon Lenard
Well, not this year maybe. But Marissa used D.J. for a quick fling, for a month or so, where he was everything she needed. And each year (except for this year), Voshon Lenard has that one month where he just goes insane and can come off the waiver wire to help carry your team by nailing tons of 3s.

Jimmy Cooper = Eddie Griffin
Sometimes things would be great for Jimmy Cooper. Then he’d go and lose everyone’s money and things would be terrible. But then he’d manage to pick himself back up and things would be fine. But then things would get worse again. And then he’d have to go away for 6 months and straighten his life out. Sort of like Eddie Griffin. Never any consistency. Things are great when they are great, but that never lasts long, and going away for six months (rehab, etc.) is always a possibility.


Blogger bv said...

horrified doesn't even begin to describe it.

9:13 PM  

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